Romance in the Latter Years

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It may be difficult to get used to the idea of your elderly parent dating again, but romance among seniors is normal and healthy. Remember that everyone, no matter what age, needs love and intimacy in their lives. Your parent’s new fling may be just the thing they need!

DATING and SEX:
It is completely natural for your loved one to desire companionship and love, who doesn’t? Dating may help your parent to live out their final days in peace and happiness, to have someone there with them in ways that you cannot provide as their child and caregiver.
Simply because your parent is in a nursing home and well beyond their prime does not mean they should be deprived of love and relationship.

Try to be supportive of your loved one’s new relationship. Allow them space and time to talk about their love interest. Even if you don’t like the person they’ve chosen, encourage and support them in finding companionship and love.

Sometimes older individuals, due to changing times and the death of a spouse, may feel it is right for them to explore a homosexual relationship. It is possible that they have always felt this way but did not grow up in a time when homosexuality was as widely accepted as it is today. While this may come as a shock or be something you disapprove of, try to understand where your parent is coming from and be as supportive as possible.

Remember that sex, at any age, is a great form of exercise. Having sex can reduce stress and assure your loved one that they are still human and that their body is still functioning.

Bear in mind that your loved one may be nervous about having sex with someone new at such an old age. They may also be nervous about health issues or concerned about their ability to perform in bed. Try to understand their fears and worries and re-assure them that sex, even at their age, is a good thing.

It may be beneficial for your parent to talk with their doctor about their concerns surrounding sex. Your loved one may be reluctant to bring up this issue with their doctor, so it may help to have the uncomfortable sex conversation with your parent and help them speak to their doctor about any fears or health concerns.

If you feel you cannot discuss the “s” word with your elderly parent, talk to them about dating instead. Ask your Mom if she misses dating. Ask Dad if he misses having a female companion. Be as open and supportive as possible.

MARRIAGE:
Yes, there is always the possibility that your elderly parent will re-marry very late in life. This can be an uncomfortable or even intimidating proposition to you as the caregiver. Who will make decisions about your loved one’s healthcare? Will this new spouse be able to take care of your parent? Or what if your parent ends up having to care for their new spouse in their last years? What about the finances and your parent’s estate? There are many issues to consider as your parent begins a new marriage while entering their final years of life.

It may be necessary to discuss some of your concerns with your loved one. Be as open and gentle as possible as you voice your thoughts. Remember that your elderly parent is an adult and has the right to make this decision. After all, their happiness is important to everyone involved.
Regarding decisions about healthcare and finances: it may be beneficial to consult a lawyer before your loved one gets married. Consider such things as: will this affect your parent’s Medicaid eligibility, who will make decisions about healthcare, what will happen to the new couple’s current insurance policies, what assets, income, and debts does each person have? Will the assets be held individually, jointly, or perhaps placed in a trust for another party? There are many things to take into account and speaking with a lawyer may help you understand the details of this new union.

If your parent is incapacitated or has dementia and you are concerned that their new spouse may not have pure and loving intentions (especially regarding your loved one’s finances), it may be worth looking into obtaining guardianship, putting your parent’s assets in a trust, having the new couple sign a pre-nup, or having your parent sign a durable power of attorney so that you still have some control and authority over their financial assets.

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Article Provided From: http://www.careconscious.com/resources/love-latter-years-romance-dating-and-companionship-among-seniors